Planning

I am not a positive person. In fact, I stress out over the little things, I let them block my mind, even my body, and all I can do is cry my eyes out. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past two years.

One day I asked my Soul Sister: one month of unhappiness it too long, isn’t it?

And barely did I know that it would be the beginning of these past two horrible years, when I woke up almost everyday feeling sad, expecting nothing good, always wishing that tomorrow would be better.

So, when my whole world fell apart, I thought that life sucks, indeed, but maybe people are right and I can’t go deeper in this black hole I’m in. I’ve hit rock bottom. It took a while and I have thought several times that I was already there, but actually, no. Yesterday was the day to go there.

The only way is up again, as they say in the song.

I stressed out, I cried so hard for the man who dumped me and for the job that I had just lost, my head was about to explode, my eyes are now so puffy that I look like a stuffed teddy bear, but I had to calm down and try to see the light on the other side of the storm.

I did what I do better in times like these: I planned and I made some short and medium term decisions.

  • Not allow myself to spend a whole day without going out of my house:
    • Go to the gym everyday (I already made my new plan for a whole month) by foot
    • Keep my tutoring classes and search for more while I don’t find a job
    • Attend my volunteering activity once a week
    • Accept any invitations for some fun
  • Make healthy meals and snacks
  • Send at least 15 applications every afternoon
  • Spend one or two weeks in London with my brother and my sister in law (bringing some resumes with me)
  • Spend one or two weeks in Lisbon with my friends (bringing some resumes with me)

I know this is not a very complete plan, but it will get me through the next month, I guess. I also know that I won’t heal my broken hear and my crushed ego in just one month, but that’s a start. And that’s what I need: something to make me wake up everyday and help me dealing with these two pieces of destruction that were so nicely offered to me.

 

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